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I’m a sucker for a good humiliation story.

One more time for the cheap seats in the back!

It happened long ago (circa 2005) and I thought I’d share.

Brian and I went to PF Changs for dinner and I thought I was breaking out in hives from something I ate there (turns our I am allergic to J&J’s baby lotion.) Anyway, there were little bumps on my forearms and I started to freak out. We called my mom and Brian’s brother to ask what to do (he’s a doctor and my mom is- well, my mom)- they both said to go get cortisone cream.

So, off to Walgreens we went. By this point panic had set in and I wanted to get that cream on me ASAP.

I jumped out of Brian’s corvette (remember that car?) as soon as it pulled into the parking space. I frantically ran to the first sales clerk and yelled “where is the cortisone cream!!!????” He looked at my frantic face and immediately yelled back, “aisle 8!”

I ran to aisle 8 and in big letters I saw CORTISONE. I didn’t  feel like wasting time so I pulled it out of the tube and started rubbing it on my arms. The placebo effect was setting in and I immediately felt better.

I strolled up to the open register and set the empty box in front of the sales clerk. Here is our conversation (which at the time I thought was weird):

Her: (peaks in box to see nothing is in there and looks confused)

Me: “oh, don’t worry I put it in my purse. I put it on in the store- I had a bad reaction to something I ate and broke out in a rash.”

Her: “you put it on in the store?” horrified look

Me: now questioning my judgment and getting a little irritated at her – “yes, I did- I had a bad reaction to something I ate and I was breaking out. I got really nervous and just opened the tube and put it on in the aisle- geez I hope that’s okay”

Her: “um, I guess so…..”

I went back to the car and threw the box down on the seat. Brian looked down at it and also had a confused look on his face.

Brian: “why did you buy that?”

Me: “Your brother told me to get it!” (duh!)

Brian: “he told you to buy ANAL itch cream?!”

Me: (grabs the box and looks horrified at the conversation I just had with the sales clerk) “OMG!”

So, that is my story. If you can top it (I pray that you can) I would love to hear your story……..

19 responses to “I’m a sucker for a good humiliation story.

  1. Amy

    Sitting on the couch, watching tv, reading blog posts on my bb, and your story made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the Sunday pick me up….I am sure I have more than a handful of stories, not sure if any would top that one though! 🙂

  2. Oh my goodness, that is unbelievably hilarious! Seriously cracked me up! So glad you shared this story, hehe!

  3. Awesome story. I’m sure I’ve got a story to beat it but I must have blocked it out.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  4. saretta

    That is hysterical! I have made language mixups while I was learning Italian. Like telling a very uptight student of mine to go f$%& his dead relatives. Oops! Didn’t know that’s what I was saying!

  5. Popped in from SITS! Oh, you poor thing! Did you go back in and get the right cream?

    • Jamie

      Thanks for stopping by! No, I didn’t I would have rather gone into anaphylactic shock than go back in that store! The funny thing is, the anal itch creme did make my arm rash go away…..

  6. Melissa

    Stopping by from SITS! That story is laugh out loud funny! Thanks for sharing!

  7. Oh MY!! I really did Laugh Out Loud!!! That is hilarious. The paranoid person I am, I would have had to go back in and explain myself. But, it makes it funnier that you didn’t. Thanks for the good laugh.

  8. Nancy ⋅

    During my first delivery, my anesthesiologist was an Asian guy. I loved him for his skill, so naturally I got very defensive on his behalf when the nurses started calling him “Dr. Jap”. I went OFF on one of them. He smiled and pointed to his nametag… Dr. Giap.

    Oh.

  9. Oh that is hilarious! Good laugh for the day!

  10. Jen

    Hahahaha! Classic!

  11. OK, I can’t figure out how I found your blog…but it’s great! I am dying laughing right now. Thanks! -Laura L.

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