March has not been a good month. Hoepfully the peak of the horrific events will be AT’s febrile seizure. Goodness gracious that was awful. I think writing about it will be somewhat therapeutic.

I had downloaded the whole soundtrack to Twilight so I could the true version of Bella’s Lullaby from the movie. AT LOVES that song. $10 later I had one minute of a song, but it was worth it. Brian was at work and I put it on that night for AT and he wanted me to dance with him. I realized that these were going to be the last few months of only us and I needed to savor every special moment before our family got bigger. Of course, it will only get better when the new child comes home, but I realized the importance of being grateful for what life is like at the present time. Having him put his head on my shoulder while I pretend to waltz with him was incredibly sweet and it made me hope he will still want to dance with me when he grows up.

AT was not sleeping well two days before he seized. He was waking up complaining and I just assumed he had too many covers on him. He seemed fine when he woke up for the day except he coughed literally three times every time he woke up from a nap or from his bad night’s sleep.The dog was acting weird when he would wake up in the middle of the night, too. She would try and jump on our bed to get AT. She NEVER does that when he wakes up at night.

Brian decided to take him into the shower while I finished getting ready. I took AT out while Brian finished up and started dressing him. He was shivering and for some reason in my mind I thought “I hope he doesn’t have a seizure”- call if mother’s intuition or whatever, but it was weird. literally within a minute of thinking that he did start to have a seizure. I first was thinking “this really can’t be happening.” Brian explains what I did next as the worst noise he has ever heard in his life. I screamed his name in the most horrific way he leaped out of the shower and injured his leg pretty bad. We didn’t realize this till later. Brian was in panic mode and I (everyone knows I am NOT the calm one) held it together.

I cradled AT while Brian ran around trying to find the phone screaming. I was able to locate the phone, lay AT down on the carpeted floor, and call 911. He seized for ten horrific minutes and I thought he was dying. When you have no idea what is happening to your child it is really an out-of-body experience. Brian was panicked thinking he was dying and I was thinking , “here we go- everyone comments on what a happy sweet baby he is and it really is too good to be true, I don’t get to keep him.” Brian was uncontrollably crying and running around the house. There was a spurt of calmness where he came to  AT’s side and prayed.

The paramedics were sweet. Their thermometer was broken and it said AT did not have a fever. They said that a seizure like this makes no sense unless there is a temperature. He may have some neurological disorder, but sometimes not. They were trying to stay positive, but I could tell they were worried too.

On the ambulance ride I asked if it was possible he had pneumonia- twice. They said since he wasn’t coughing and he didn’t have a temperature they seriously doubted it.

We arrived at the closest hospital to our house. Everyone was great and I asked the doctor to do a chest X-ray (mother’s intuition)- sure enough he had pneumonia. He also had a temperature of 103. They said his temperature probably went from normal to 102 in VERY short amount of time (that was why he was shivering) causing the seizure.

Whew- so we knew he was going to be okay.

We took him to a pediatric neurologist yesterday, just to be on the safe side. He said that this is the peak time for children to have febrile seizures and he probably will never have another (after we gave him certain information)- However, we have rectal Valium (didn’t know they made that!) that we can administer to feel like we’re in control if he has another. He said he is perfectly healthy. We also learned at that visit that a person can seize for an hour without causing brain damage. The body is amazing and knows to pump all blood to the brain when we start to seize- that is why light skinned people appear blue. Amazing……

So- that is that. I hope I never have to witness that again.