I’m a sucker for a good humiliation story.

One more time for the cheap seats in the back!

It happened long ago (circa 2005) and I thought I’d share.

Brian and I went to PF Changs for dinner and I thought I was breaking out in hives from something I ate there (turns our I am allergic to J&J’s baby lotion.) Anyway, there were little bumps on my forearms and I started to freak out. We called my mom and Brian’s brother to ask what to do (he’s a doctor and my mom is- well, my mom)- they both said to go get cortisone cream.

So, off to Walgreens we went. By this point panic had set in and I wanted to get that cream on me ASAP.

I jumped out of Brian’s corvette (remember that car?) as soon as it pulled into the parking space. I frantically ran to the first sales clerk and yelled “where is the cortisone cream!!!????” He looked at my frantic face and immediately yelled back, “aisle 8!”

I ran to aisle 8 and in big letters I saw CORTISONE. I didn’t  feel like wasting time so I pulled it out of the tube and started rubbing it on my arms. The placebo effect was setting in and I immediately felt better.

I strolled up to the open register and set the empty box in front of the sales clerk. Here is our conversation (which at the time I thought was weird):

Her: (peaks in box to see nothing is in there and looks confused)

Me: “oh, don’t worry I put it in my purse. I put it on in the store- I had a bad reaction to something I ate and broke out in a rash.”

Her: “you put it on in the store?” horrified look

Me: now questioning my judgment and getting a little irritated at her – “yes, I did- I had a bad reaction to something I ate and I was breaking out. I got really nervous and just opened the tube and put it on in the aisle- geez I hope that’s okay”

Her: “um, I guess so…..”

I went back to the car and threw the box down on the seat. Brian looked down at it and also had a confused look on his face.

Brian: “why did you buy that?”

Me: “Your brother told me to get it!” (duh!)

Brian: “he told you to buy ANAL itch cream?!”

Me: (grabs the box and looks horrified at the conversation I just had with the sales clerk) “OMG!”

So, that is my story. If you can top it (I pray that you can) I would love to hear your story……..